I'm thinking I'm too anxious to write. I can't find my camera anywhere! I've searched in the most likely places, that is, the most unlikely ones, and it's not anywhere! It's the 3rd day since I noticed it's been missing and I've retraced my steps up until Monday when I last took photos of Leia gallivanting outside. I had not wanted to consider it but it must have fallen out of my pocket--that is the only logical explanation--otherwise, it would be here, but it's not, and I know, because I've searched under the shoes, under the couch, under the bed, and the entire world of under! Things don't exactly make a thud in the snow, I must have missed it when it fell. I remember having to carry Leia some 200 meters on the way back because she'd decided that was more fun that way. I want it to be morning already so I can search for it outside, perhaps it did fall in the snow and got buried deep in it with only the string flapping up in the wind as if desperately trying to call out to me and I'd be the only one to notice because I'm the only one who knows that it's possibly my camera. I just want to find it real bad. That camera's been with me through thick and thin, rain and snow, autumn and tropical weather. I hope I find it. I really do.
I had wanted to talk about snow and the different kinds of snow. I have felt deceived when I found out that you can't make a snowman just because it is snowing, aside from the fact that you need enough, and this is another matter altogether because in the movies, when it snowed, it always did until it was a foot deep, at least. I had not known that it could snow so little as to cover the ground only for a few millimeters. You can't make a snowman out of that...I think, unless...well, a miniature snowman, perhaps. Anyway, had my camera been right here in my arms safe and warm, I would have been able to write some of the things I did learn about ice, snow, the cold, and the grass underneath that looks green and healthy despite it being dead, or so Nils told me. He said they only looked alive. Zombie grass. How cool is that? Despite my fascination with zombie movies, not really zombies themselves, and by association, zombie grass, I really won't be able to write down anything close to coherent, at least as coherent as I can get. I am too distracted. Where the hell is that camera?
I would like to note, despite my current preoccupation, a certain kind of personality that exists in all kinds of culture--and now we step into the bigot and fascinating world of stereotyping complex dynamic life forms--regardless of size, height, mass, color, and sexual orientation. Just when you are wanting to be ignored and left by yourself, complete strangers as they are, they will pick a conversation with you, and within 5 minutes you will realize that it will take more than a horde of stampeding wild horses to make this person stop talking TO YOU. Now I can be talkative, as anyone can, its just a matter of motivation, may it be spirits, torture, mushrooms--button mushrooms being my favorite--, etc., but I will never willingly pick a conversation with a stranger (it is unkind to encroach on someone else's personal space) and will not hesitate to come to the conclusion that this person is CREEPY and will immediately commence fight or flight response. I'm still worried about my camera. I think I will meditate as to its whereabouts. CIAO.
PS. And no, I'm not, unfortunately, a floater. I'm a sinker. I sink to the bottom of anything, be it fresh water, see water, chlorinated water, polluted water, rain water, etc, despite kicking and splashing like my life depended on it, and most of the time, it usually does.
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